Music for Grief and Loss

The death of a loved one may be the hardest experience you’ll ever face. If you’re new to the grief that comes along with living after a loss, it can be very challenging to navigate the unexpected feelings and emotions that come in waves.

It can also feel very lonely when you’re grieving, and others around you who haven’t experienced a loss like yours may not understand. You may also get a blank stare or silence from others when you express your grief, making it feel uncomfortable or even unacceptable to show your grief.

However, it’s essential to find healthy ways to express your grief and let it move through you. Otherwise, it gets buried inside and accumulates where it is likely to erupt in self-sabotaging ways.

MUSIC IS HEALING

Music can be a very helpful tool to allow yourself to feel and express grief in healthy ways. When my daughter, Keira, unexpectedly died, my world was turned upside down, and the pain was indescribable. Then, just three weeks after my daughter transitioned, my mother unexpectedly died too. I made a “Grief” music playlist on my iPhone and listened to music constantly because I found that it allowed me to express my grief and tears in ways that my words just couldn’t.

I also allowed myself to cry without apology when songs played in public. I was at a physical therapy appointment when a song from my grief playlist came on their speaker system, and I just cried. Another time, I was at the dentist when a song came on that reminded me of Keira, and I cried then too. I just let the people around me know that I’m grieving, and I needed a moment.

MUSIC IS TRANSFORMATIONAL

As time went on, I learned how to transform my grief in ways that allowed me to live with an open heart even though I’m grieving and always will be the rest of my life because nothing can take the place of my daughter being here with me physically. As my grief changed, I created new music playlists to help me celebrate and honor my daughter…songs that make me feel close to her. I shared some of the songs in my playlists at the end of this post.

Most days, I go for a walk in nature with my headphones on and listen to a music playlist. My daily walks are a sacred time for me to shut out the world and focus on connecting with my daughter on the Other Side. I often feel her presence with me as I walk, listen and feel.

MUSIC IS COMMUNICATION

I also found music to be a powerful form of communication with the Spirit world. I had to choose two songs for Keira’s funeral tribute video, and I could only decide on one. As I backed my Jeep out of the garage to go to the funeral home and drop off her songs and my song choices, all of the radio stations I had programmed went static.

I stopped my Jeep and started scrolling through the stations, and all of them were static except for one station. On that one station played a song that had always reminded me of Keira since she was a baby…Sweet Child O’ Mine by Guns N’ Roses!

I knew that this song being the only song that would come in on my radio was definitely a sign from Keira! She was telling me to use that song in her tribute video because it brought me comfort and joy. This gift so deeply moved me, and you betcha that song is in her tribute video and on my playlist. Keira and I both love music and it’s a way for us to communicate with each other and experience a love between worlds together.

Her death inspired me to research and study all things “afterlife” because I wanted nothing more than to connect with her on the Other Side and develop this new relationship. This journey led me to study and practice evidential mediumship (the ability to communicate with people on the Other Side and provide evidence of who they are and messages they share). Although I hadn’t planned on giving readings to others, it was part of my training. During these amazing, healing readings, I found that loved ones in Spirit will often communicate with songs or lyrics.

For example, one of the impressions that came through during a reading was an image and wording of a sailboat that was “full sail.” It turned out that this had special meaning to the living loved one because one of the songs she listened to often to express her love and grief contains the words “were you here when I was full sail…”.

I hope that music provides a safe and healthy outlet for you to feel, express, and even honor your loved one at one of the most difficult times of life like it does for me.

MY PLAYLISTS:

Here are some of my playlists and songs that I’ve found helpful on my journey with grief:

KEIRA’S SONGS PLAYLIST:

Sweet Child O’ Mine (Guns N’ Roses)

Here with Me (Susie Suh)

Song to the Siren (This Mortal Coil)

Wish You Were Here (Incubus)

So Far Away (Avenged Sevenfold)

Dust in the Wind (Kansas)

Live on Forever (The Afters)

Wave Goodbye (Chris Cornell)

Letters from the Sky (Civil Twilight)

Gravity (A Perfect Circle)

Silent Lucidity (Queensryche)

Runaway Train (Soul Asylum)

You are Loved (Stars Go Dim)

Nothing Else Matters (Metallica)

ACUTE GRIEF (right after loss):

See You on the Other Side (Ozzy Osbourne)

Fire and Rain (James Taylor)

Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone (Bobby “Blue” Bland)

Always with Me, Always with You (Joe Satriani)

Far Behind (Candlebox)

 In the Arms of the Angel (Sarah McLachlan)